aydan.tango

Pepa: Tango is like life itself. If you observe the way you are dancing you can understand what is happening to you in life. When you feel you are disconnected to your partner, you just have to reconnect with yourself.  You disconnect from your partner when you are disconnected from yourself. So you need to go back to your axis, but not just your physical axis. You need to recover your emotional axis, to feel yourself.

“Tango is about feeling and sensitivity, otherwise you are just doing gymnastics. You can do all the steps but it has to have the feeling and sensitivity of authentic tango.”

— Carlos Gavito

Feeling and sensitivity are complex concepts and require some arduous exploration. Nonetheless, if we want to tap the depths of the Tango, according to Gavito, it is a requirement.

OK. I am a huge fan. I turn to Carlos Gavito for a succinct quote, I play his instruction videos for classes and even – in my most deluded moments – attempt to model my dancing after him. All of which is somewhat weird given that …

At the bottom of the stately, brocade staircase was posted a picture of an attractive young woman seductively draped in a silky dress, clinging to her dashing partner. Tango lessons, Thursday evening, in the Moroccan room. We signed up immediately.

What was the lure? Did we envision ourselves transformed into the slinky, sexy couple on the brochure? Patricia and I rarely danced and our bodies were far beyond the slinky stage. Perhaps we were in the mood to do something impetuous and risque …

The Tango embodies the most intense confluence of pleasure, sensuality, physicality, and relational dynamics you are going to come across on the dance floor. Strangely, I come away from a night of dancing not with any feeling of romantic attachment, as one might expect, but rather the sense of having been awakened and nurtured at a soul level.

A smile is worth a thousand glib assurances.

When I read a smile on my partner’s face I relax. I dance better. I trust that I and my partner are equally committed to a pleasant and pleasurable dance.

A smile displaces all the questions of adequacy or judgement: “Am I good enough? Does she want to dance with me? Does she trust my lead/ follow?”

Smiles have a very endearing secondary effect: they make you attractive. No face is so perfect that it is not enhanced by a smile or so disfigured that it is not also beautified by one.

My consciousness of Argentine tango began, not with movement, leaders and followers, grace and close embrace. It began with shoes. At my first tango class, all I could think about was my feet. My feet in black high-heeled shoes, not official dance shoes but good enough.

It is a stroke of genius that the Tango ritualized eye contact –  the cabeceo – as the first and critical element of the dance proposal. This is where it all begins: Eyes connecting from across the room with an affirming nod, raised eyebrows, a look of permission, acceptance, expectation.

Next time you are filling out a job resume, include dancing tango on your resume and list the following personality traits: sensitive, respectful, attentive, a good listener, leader and follower, self-aware, respectful of boundaries, #metoo -proofed, creative, flexible, a good team player, all in addition to being able to pivot on a dime!   

Is the abrazo truly the heart and soul of the Tango?

If so, I propose a tribute to those very same arms that both hug and embrace, caress and comfort.