The first time I was invited to breathe in unison with my dance partner in a close embrace, I froze. My gut twisted into a knot. I felt deeply vulnerable.
What could it be about breathing in unison – in close embrace (Tango) or even generally in a hug – that would make one feel so uncomfortable?
Certainly, it intensifies the chest-to-chest connection. Depending on one’s comfort level with close embraces, this might be intimidating or exhilarating.
But more than this. There is something intensely personal and self-revealing about the rise and fall of one’s breath.
Ancient traditions define this primal motion as the drawing in and releasing of Spirit. It is as core to life as we get.
Consider the stomach of a baby filling and falling with that life-sustaining nurturance. Nothing is more tender and endearing.
As we age we become embarrassed by our bellies. We restrict the in and out of our breathing with tight clothing and practice holding it in. Then we layer stress on top of self-consciousness, which further constricts our breathing.
To invite someone into the rhythm of one’s breath is to share one’s humanity at a non-defended and intimate level. But then, this is what the tango is intended to do – to stretch one’s comfort level, to expand one’s boundaries, to challenge one’s inhibitions.
In my current dance practice, my dance partner and I give attention to our first breaths together. As we enter into the embrace we synchronize our breathing. Then throughout the dance, we pause at those exquisite pause moments to realign our breathing.
Does this improve my dancing? Perhaps not in terms of technical execution. But it sure sweetens the dance as an intimate connection.
Is this important?
My partner’s response: “ That is all I care about. What else is there?”