Musings on Tango, Sensuality and Spirituality
aydan.tango 
Have you ever felt as if you were the only couple on the dance floor, that you and your partner were in a world unto yourselves safely cocooned in your own universe, when all you were aware of, other than the music, was the warm, responsive movement of your partner?
Don’t we all want this feeling, all the time? What is the secret?
In a day when gentlemanly conduct seems to be under attack, the Tango is the perfect venue for practicing close connection in an attentive, gentle, and sensitive manner. Milongueros, consider incorporating some of the approaches below into your dance.
A recent advertisement by Gillette entitled “the best men can be” follows on the tails of the #metoo movement, encouraging men to be conscientious and courageous gentlemen, not only avoiding being crude, sexist, and racist but to intervene in conflict where others who acting out those old scripts. Excellent ad, powerful and timely.
We dance to enjoy it. Not to put on a show but touch people’s hearts. I am not out there to impress people with what a wonderful dancer I am but to model how they can dance. It is a wonderful thing when it is simple. The best Tango dancers are not the ones who have developed this big repertoire of steps. It’s the ones who have developed a better understanding and awareness of their partner. When you can communicate with another person physically and emotionally, you’ve got it. That’s what makes it such a special dance. Michael Young
The structure and the technical intricacies of Tango are the ideal medium for precision mirroring. We listen with deep attention to the minute details of our partner’s body positioning, places of tension and resistance, skill level and responsiveness to a lead. And our partner attends to our body positioning and energy with equal precision. In our attuned state of awareness, we enter into the most intimate and nourishing experience of finding ourselves mirrored in another.
(photo credit: Borden Park, Edmonton. ADV)
Every time I create space for my partner (as a lead) I am sending her out on her own to explore, express, be creative, have fun. In the interval as I patiently wait for her return, I am enthralled by the skill and energy that my partner invests in beautifying the dance. When she reconnects in close embrace, we are both enriched by the elegance and creativity that has been added to our shared experience.
Deep attention is one of the most precious treasures we can give to someone. Looking and listening with respect, even reverence, in unconditional acceptance and with warmth and gentleness, is the most deeply humanizing activity in which we can invest ourselves.
The national day of tango commemorates the birth of two legends of tango: the immortal legend Carlos Gardel, perhaps the most famous tango singer of all times, and genius orchestra conductor Julio de Caro: both born on Dec. 11th.
An amazing quality of Tango is that it allows us to explore relational dynamics in a safe and controlled venue. We have the opportunity to unlearn anti-social or abusive habits and scripting, and replace them with behaviours that support healthy non-sexualized connection.
I believe that dance generally and tango specifically, is an effective corrective to the oppositional, polarized, sexualized nature of our society, and by extension to domestic violence. It teaches an entirely different model of relating, one which affirms cooperative and complementary effort. Both parties should leave the dance floor with a smile.