I am sharing a podcast done over the Easter Weekend between myself and Valerie Teles. The Intro to the podcast is printed below as a brief overview of the discussion. I hope you enjoy the conversation. There is more bio information about Valerie and her podcast “Fit For Joy” below. Follow her along. She is fabulous.
The gift of a medium such as dancing, tango, in particular, is that one can learn parameters of safe and sensual touch within precise structural, socially sanctioned guidelines. One is able to experience at a visceral level what it feels like to be close in a supportive, sensual engagement without misinterpreting the contact or intent as sexual.
In a society that is touch starved, with a deep need for physical connection but with few models other than unhealthy ones, this learning is to be treasured. It probably took me close to 5 years to be convinced that the close embrace which includes a woman putting her chest against mine was not a sexual overture. It does, however, communicate trust, responsiveness, and presence, as do many other variables, such as ding hand placement on the back, dancing cheek to cheek. Yes, these may indicate affection but only within the context of the dance.
Trauma therapists emphasize the need for somatic experience as the basis for healing. Memories are stored in the body and the body needs to displace the negative experiences with learning positive ones. Healing needs to be body-based. The journey progresses by displacing abusive experiences with an expansive healthy understanding and awareness of the layers and nuances to intimate, nurturing sensual self-expression.
It is because tango straddles the razor-thin edge between sexualizing and sensualizing that every dancer is confronted with the choice of lapsing into cultural patterns of seduction and dominance or sharing power in creative expression. As a tango lead, I am continually listening to the responsiveness of my partner and fashioning my dance accordingly. I sense her timing, her interest in certain moves, her emotional investment in the dance, her interest in embellishments.
This fabulous learning goes far beyond the dance floor and takes us out into our intimate relationships, our social network, and workplace.
Valeria interviews Aydan on Healing, Sensuality, and Spirituality.
Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck is a former Lutheran minister, with a Masters’s degree in theology. He has been tango dancing for 18 years. Currently hosts and teaches at a weekly milonga.
Aydan is the author of Trauma to Tango: Dancing Through The Shadows Of Sexual Abuse.
A weekly blogger at www.dancingwithpresence.com, exploring the connection between sensuality and spirituality, dance and divine presence.
He is in the process of writing a book on The Nature of Consent, focusing on “the anatomy of connection: how to become aware of, in our bodies, the feeling of being in deep connection with another.
Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck lives in Edmonton alberta, Canada. He is a Mental health Social worker and married of 25 years with “accumulated” lineage of 8 children and 18 grandchildren.
Podcast Page: https://fitforjoy.org/guests1/2020/6/6/aydan-dunnigan-vickruck