December 4th, 1989 is an ignoble date for Canada.
On this day, 30 years ago, there was a mass killing at L’ École Polytechnique, an engineering school in Montreal, in which 14 women were killed — 13 shot, one stabbed to death — and another 14 people were injured. From the suicide note left behind by the murderer, it was clear that the killings were an expression of hatred against women. His only expressed regret in enacting this heinous crime was that he could not kill more women, particularly ones in prominent social positions who in his mind promoted feminism.
Interestingly, it is only now, 30 years later, that the crime has been officially acknowledged as an act of misogyny. In years previous the discussion has focused on mental illness, hatred and gun control with the dialogue being directed by legislators, lawyers and law officers. This year that changed as women assumed ownership of the discussion and turned the spotlight on hatred, violence, discrimination and prejudice against women, not only as exemplified in the massacre but as experienced throughout society.
Here comes the truly fascinating piece…
The interviews to which I listened ended not in renewed calls for gun control or the need for metal detectors in schools, but by addressing the foundational question, namely …
“Guys, what’s your problem?”
or to frame it more eloquently,
“What do we need to learn as a society to support men and women living respectfully as equals in mutually empowering relationships?”
Which brings me back to my focal question for this blog:
“What does this have to do dancing Tango?”
Dance is one of the distinctive venues in a society where men and women can meet and engage in equanimity, sharing both power and creative expression. But Tango has a very unique flavouring, because of its peculiar history and roots. In Tango’s formative years, due to a skewed demographic, tangueros outnumbered tangueras 10:1. The social pressures placed on the dance in many ways intensified the masculine/ feminine polarity. The outcome is that Tango remains in some contexts a showcase for machismo where close embrace equates with clutch and grab and a strong lead is expressed as enforced compliance. (see Same Sex Tango blog for more discussion)
Hope for the Future
It doesn’t have to be this way, of course. Much of the Tango world has made the transition to a dance of elegance and sophistication in which male/ female energies are blended with precision and equanimity.
The distinctive trait or quality of Tango that remains, irrespective of which cultural mores are expressed, is that its core structure brilliantly encapsulates foundational relationship dynamics, (a continual theme of my blogs, no?). As such, it embodies many of the gender issues encountered in society in general and relationships in particular.
My personal experience of dancing the Tango is that it affords a treasured learning opportunity to be supportive, gentle, respectful, sensually present, attuned to my partner’s responsiveness and sensitive to their emotional engagement.
When I follow conversations like the ones marking the 30th anniversary of the L’École Polytechnique Massacre, I am encouraged that we are attempting to heal this gender friction that has crippled humanity for millennia. My experience on the dance floor reinforces this conviction.