International Women’s Week

“The real troubles in this world seem to settle on the misalignment of men and women.” Stone Diaries., Carol Sheilds.

This is International Women’s Week. I dug into my archives to pull out some material that I feel gives expression to feminine power which deserves to be showcased in Tango as well as in other aspects of our life.

Check out this captivating article from the New York Times and then stay with me for some reflections below.

BUENOS AIRES DISPATCH/ New York Times/ October 5, 2019

‘A Caricature of the Patriarchy’: Argentine Feminists Remake Tango, By Ernesto Londoño

A group of activists is trying to make tango less dogmatic about traditional gender roles, and more assertive about rooting out sexual harassment and assault.

Feminism Comes to Tango.

Fabulous! It is happening. Gender equality is erupting even on the dance floor.

Men are being invited (forced?) to abandon sexist behaviours and share the power. This has never been an issue in most partner dances, as women are often required to drag their partner onto the dance floor in a sort of public humiliation ritual. Let’s face it. In the land of the Frozen North, dance is not a natural venue for men to display their masculinity. Sports, now that works. Dance?? (There are reasons for this aversion of course, which I have referenced in recent blogs.)

Traditional Male/ Female Roles

The exception has always been the Tango, where traditionally, men lead and women follow. Because of the Tango’s complex, asymmetrical dance structure, the roles of lead and follow are very distinctive: it takes a lot of skill and training to master either and certainly more so both. Men and women typically get plugged into their traditional spots from the get-go and stay put.

The Numbers Game

This can restrict dance opportunities as there can be an unequal number of men to women on any given night, leaving some (usually women) to sit on the sidelines.  I remember the pathetic sight of elegantly adorned women strung out along the marbled floor and mirrored walls of the Confiteria Ideal (no longer a public dance venue, unfortunately), with legs crossed, seductively demure, waiting for a solicitous glance (cabeceo) from an interested man across the dance floor. There were certainly many women who sat out the entire milonga without ever dancing! How would that have felt at the end of the day?

To be fair, women are granted the right of refusal or acceptance by reciprocating or avoiding eye contact with her would-be suitor. Nonetheless, the practice of cabeceo continues to be justified – even celebrated, as a necessary defense for the fragile male ego. (Insert gag reflex here.)

Same-Sex Milongas

As the above New York Times article references, all of these practices are being challenged. In same-sex milongas women have the opportunity to lead and men to follow. By teaching either role to both sexes, the numbers-imbalance on the dance floor is instantly resolved. But even more importantly, both men and women are given the opportunity to learn the relational dynamics ensconced within the divergent roles.

Men, as follows, are permitted to sink into a supportive embrace and required to listen to and respond intuitively to their partner’s lead, of either sex.  Where else does a man get that opportunity?

Women, on the other hand, get the privilege to direct the dance and provide support and structure to their partner. This is definitely a shift in the power dynamic. How special is that?

A New Vision

De-sex-itizing of traditional roles and learning of alternate patterns for relating offers to society as well as the individual, a unique and powerful experience of intimacy and connection. Tango traditionally has cultivated or at least tolerated, sexist attitudes and power imbalances (all favouring men of course). A re-envisioned Tango can present a window to a more balanced and creative expression of same-sex and hetero-sexual relating.

Is it important and progressive to allow, even encourage, non-gender-differentiated tango?

Certainly, people should have the freedom to choose how they dance and with whom. Presumably, the lead does not need to belong to the male; tango can also be danced perfectly well same-sex.

Or can it?

The fact that this warrants discussion underscores some of the distinctive challenges that role-reversal represents for Tango which are not issues in most other partner dances.

The source for this strong genderalization of the lead and follow roles can be found in Tango’s cultural roots. The Tango is a tradition-rich dance that germinated in a very unique social environment where, in some barridas, e.g., La Boca, the port area of Buenos Aires, men outnumbered women 10:1, (we all know the story). This social deficit was a core impetus in the evolution of the dance, in which the very structure of the embrace and steps encapsulated this social, sexual tension.

The role of lead and follow was conceptualized in the classical models of male and female socialization: The man as lead is responsible for initiating the step, defining limits or boundaries and providing structure and support throughout. The qualities of decision, strength, grounding are paramount. The woman as follow is responsive to her partner’s lead and intuits rather than anticipates or initiates, the sequence.  When time and space allow, she is afforded the opportunity to embellish or add adornments that add to the beauty, delicacy, and sensuality of the step.

Times have changed.

We are no longer in the early 20 Century in Buenos Aires. Women can take leadership and men can be artistic and sensual. Is there any value in continuing to keep the steps and roles genderalized?

Although the #Metoo headlines have receded from the front pages of our fickle media culture nonetheless, the issues of sexual abuse and power imbalance continue to destabilize our society. There remains a huge learning deficit for men in relating to the opposite sex in a respectful, supportive and sensitive manner.

For further reflection, check out the comments section on the NY Times article. Fascinating! My personal experience is that Tango continues to present an exquisite practice of healing the rifts between masculine and feminine. My memoir, From Trauma to Tango: dancing through the shadows, relates my personal journey of healing which continues to bring me back onto the dance floor. Look it up on amazon.com.  For further reflection on the Argentine social scene, check out Cherie Magnus’ recent memoire, Intoxicating Tango: My Years in Buenos Aires.