More lessons, more correction.
What is my problem this week?
You guessed it. Same as last week.
The embrace.
I slouch, I shift, I collapse. My hand clutches, my elbows rise and fall, my shoulders slouch, my shoulders tense.
I am controlling when I need to allow for freedom. I am absent when I need to be strong and stable.
mmm…
All this is embodied in the embrace?
Sounds like relationships.
In tango as in life.
As we are in our bodies, we are in the world. This is not just about looking good or dancing correctly; it is about embracing life.
I swing back and forth between these relationship polarities of inundation and disconnect, agency and abandonment, intensity and indifference.
Do I clutch and grab like a needy, greedy adolescent?
Am I clingy, afraid of losing and letting go?
Do I give too much or too little support?
Do I take too much responsibility for my partner’s responses?
Am I shifting, unsteady, collapsing at the precise moment when I am needed?
None of these pendulum polarities is any more helpful for dancing than for relationships. What my partner needs is structure, stability and consistency. She needs to be able to count on me when needed, know where I will be, and how I will be positioned.
“Think of the embrace as a fence. It provides structure and boundaries. It contains the movement of your partner while leaving a lot of room for playing around inside,” says Vincenzo, my dance teacher.
In actual dance terms, what this means is that I maintain fixed positioning (tone, not tension) with my arms and shoulders. All that moves is my torso. My shoulders do not collapse. My elbows do not fold. My hand resists the urge to clutch or hold on tight to my partner and instead acts as a guide, sliding freely across her back as she repositions her body.
What the lead provides is support and structure. What the follow brings is flexibility, freedom, and creativity within the boundaries provided by the lead.
One seasoned tango instructor put it this way; “It is not even important that the lead step in time with the music. It is only important that we create a space for the follower to play with the beat.” (Instantly, a thousand other teachers shout out in opposition!)
In other words, the most important element that I bring to the dance as a lead is to set the stage for my partner to have a good time while feeling secure and supported.
And of course, to look good. To go along with the shoes.
P.S. A much more sophisticated explanation of how the shoulders move is found on Candela Ramos’ Facebook post about articular alignment.
Case in Point
Dare I cite a personal example?
Annette and I recently danced to Una Noche Mas, Yasmin Levy, a soulful song with a slow, consistent rhythm. It was very thoughtfully videoed. Although this was not intended or choreographed (we were just doing our thing), I loved it! (You are invited to watch with an uncritical eye.: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AvcOhQNFsKRvQH8rZ394-Eu9MZuW2QT5/view)
My partner, of course, looks beautiful and elegant as always and the star of the video certainly, but I even liked watching my part, not because of any technical brilliance (notably lacking), but because I did exactly what I have described above: I created time, space and structure for Annette to beautifully express her elegant self.
And to the contended point above of whether the lead sometimes sets the beat, sometimes not, that is also expressed. In the walking, Annette is right on point (set by me), but with the circular moves, she “dances to the beat of her own drummer” (Thoreau).
To prove the point, every rule in Tango is broken (or at least stretched) the very next dance.