Of course! the path to heaven
doesn’t lie down in flat miles.
It’s in the imagination
with which you perceive
this world,
and the gestures
with which you honor it.
– “The Swan,” Mary Oliver
every person is accompanied, at all times, by a procession of angels crying out, “Make way, for an image of the Holy One is approaching!”. …How do we keep missing all those angels, with their trumpets and proclamations, desperate to rouse us to the dignity of every human being?
9th century Rabbinic text … quoted by Rabbi Sharon Brous
Tango is a dance of smoke and mirrors, an embodied metaphor of life dramas, a titillating pretense for what goes on at other times in other places, a mystical moment shrouded in the blissful mist of a warm embrace.
Or, just as possible, an innocent overture shattered by a spurned glance or an errant kick to the shins.
All the vulnerabilities, risks and yearnings of open-heart encounters melded into the orchestrated twists of a ten-minute tanda.
Isn’t that like life? A tenuous weaving of hopes and dreams, fantasies and illusions? The feelings, sensations, awareness, as phantasmic as a waft of perfume or the mournful strain of a violin?
Are our encounters really that fleeting? Lasting longer than a tanda certainly, but any less ephemeral or illusory? Is there nothing that lingers?
That is the question that presented itself to my dear friend Sergio Acosta, after not being acknowledged by a dancer with whom he had had a blissful tanda the week before: when does the dance end? Is there any carryover of feeling or sentiment from one tanda to the next, one week to the next?*
Being remembered is one of the simplest ways we know we mattered to someone … It’s our recognising that, for a few minutes, we were real to one another. www.danceinconversation.co.uk
In our small Tango dance community of Edmonton Alerta – seldom more than 30 dancers out on an evening and most of them regulars – everyone is remembered (favourably or otherwise) and typically greeted by name. Most of the awkwardness of dancing with someone – adaptations to mannerisms or dancing styles -has been negotiated long ago. Nonetheless, we continue to emphasize and practice the protocols of beginning and ending each dance or tanda:
Greet your partner.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Settle slowly and gently into the embrace.
Revisit all these practices in reverse when ending a dance/ tanda.
The approach – and departure- embody the intention and specialness of the dance as much as the dancing itself. In this respect, tango is more than a metaphor; it is sacramental. The ordinary is infused with special meaning and attention so that every encounter may be experienced as extraordinary.
Back to Mary Oliver. Where do we fit in the imagination, the gestures with which to honour this gallant and daring rapprochement?
My experience? Familiarity has not bred contempt. No matter with whom I am dancing, new or known, there is always the vulnerability, the risk, the invitation to a raw awakening. My imagination anticipates this sacred engagement with the delicate gestures of holding out the hand, making eye contact, smiling, and gently embracing.
*( “When does the Dance End?” is the topic for our next tango sensaionces on-line video conference, July 21, 11:00 a.m.. Do yourself a favour and register.)