Collect, Pause, Connect

Instructions from visiting teachers Maria Olivera and Gustavo Benzecry Saba.

“Collect, connect. Collect, connect.”

I like this. Keep instructions simple, concise, and whenever possible, make it rhyme. (It sounded better in Spanish.) To be a little more precise (and risk jumbling the jingle) permit me to interject the word “pause”.

A little word: pause. But it encapsulates one of the foundational elements of tango. This is at the heart of the dance. This is what gives it its soul; those moments, however fleeting, when the couple creates time and space to join together, connect, to listen to the other, to attune to the press of body against body, feel a heartbeat, share a breath, to pay attention.

Attention

Some call this the tango high, tango heaven. We might call it, simply attention.

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” French/ Jewish philosopher, Simone Weil:

The opportunity to pay attention to our dance partner in an attuned, intimate manner is the true genius and gift of tango.

This is not the visual that tango presents, of course, nor is it necessarily what we are taught as budding tangeros. All the attention goes to movement, intricate maneuvers, pivoting, flashy flourishes, and dramatic endings. But that is the surface dressing of the dance.

Conversation

Tango is communication: an oscillation between expressing and active listening, between movement and stillness, between executing one’s own steps with definition and precision and then admiring how your partner is moving in response. Or even better, moving in simultaneity.

This is communication at its most sophisticated. It serves as a model, not only for dancing, but for all relationships. Imagine how this would change our communication style if we inserted, at pivotal moments, pregnant pauses, time to collect and connect, breathe together, and ensure that each other is not off balance before proceeding?

How often is the exact opposite our practice? Conversation becomes more of a combat sport. We try to keep the other off balance to gain the advantage. We speak over the top. We finish one another’s sentences. We avoid the intimate engagement or emotional entanglement that comes with the pauses, the silence.

Thinking vs. Feeling

A wise Tango Teacher, Tom Wilson, San Francisco, is also an Aikido Master Teacher. He explained it this way:

Tango and Aikido are quite similar in that they both attempt to sense the other’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities. The difference is that in Tango, each wants to support their partner. In Aikido, you want to take advantage of your combatant.

As a lead, before I begin the first step, I often mistakenly envision a completed sequence.  Poor form. This allows no opportunity to adjust my stepping to my partner’s response or for my partner to respond creatively, change it up, or even side-step my intentions. If my partner attempts to do so, we stumble over each other and begin profusely apologizing: “Sorry.” ” Sorry”. “My fault.” “No, my fault.”(Canadians are so banal).

Of course, skilled, sensitive dancers seldom lose touch with how their partner is positioned, how they are leading or responding to the lead, and how each is maintaining their axis. They instinctively collect, pause and connect, creating mini-moments of stillness and awareness throughout.

In the words of our current visiting coach from Buenos Aires, Tracy Renee Stafford, “nothing is thought, everything is felt.” This comment was specifically directed toward follows, but I find it entirely true about leading as well.

Trust and Vulnerability

Everything begins with the embrace as one attunes to the partner’s positioning and the subtle indicators of confidence, tension, and insecurity. This recalibration needs to be continued throughout the dance. This is, after all, an intimate conversation which is predicated as much on trust and vulnerability as on one’s proficiency.

There are classic steps that lend themselves to collecting and connecting, e.g., the salida or the cross, often called nodes. But there are opportunities throughout the dance, at the beginning and end of any step or sequence.

All of this takes time. It has to be done slowly, methodically, and intentionally. And for whatever reason, we all have a certain resistance to this practice. We would rather be consumed by business, stuffing in as many maneuvers into the three minutes as possible.  

Why is that? We will explore some of these inhibitions to connecting and paying attention in future blogs. Follow along. Subscribe.

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